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Do You Communicate to Control or to Connect?

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Don’t Die Dumb!

Don't Die Dumb: 7 Tips for Improving Your Learning by John Stoker Why do we make mistakes?  We are human--that’s how we learn.  Hopefully we learn not to make the same mistake again, but do we?  Many...

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Are You Chasing Rabbits?

We are sending ourselves messages that we don’t often receive until it is too late. A couple of weeks ago, I had blocked out an entire Friday to write an article for a magazine. Just as I got into the...

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Announcing our New Blog!!!

This is a test of the blog addition feature. How does it work?

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Throwing Things

  Q:"I am a nurse in the O.R. at a local hospital. At times, out of frustration, certain physicians will throw things at us during surgery—soiled sponges, gauze, and sometimes even instruments. Our...

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Why Don't They Do What They Say They'll Do?

Q:  “My manager asked me to create a report for her. Although she promised to give me the facts and figures I need for the report, she has not done so yet. What do I say now?” A: There are a number of...

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Don't Blame Me!

 Q:“I am in marketing and I design marketing campaigns for major corporations. My boss recently asked me to design a campaign in six weeks that should have taken three months. After completing the...

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Managing Your Boss's Negativity

Q: I really liked the last blog you posted in April because that situation has happened to me as well. However, my manager is so negative and defensive that I am afraid if I shared, “I did what you...

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"Outside" vs. "Inside" the Conversation

Q: Sometimes difficult situations arise unexpectedly and there doesn’t seem to be time to think through how to use the DialogueWORKS framework. In other words, when I am “outside” the conversation I...

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Late Again?!

Q: I am a Nurse Supervisor, and I frequently have a nurse who shows up late for her shift. I haven’t said much to her about her behavior other than, “You were late today.” I have received a cross look...

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The Gift of Ourselves

I was dashing through the Atlanta airport to catch a flight out West. When I finally arrived at my gate and had a moment to pause, I started to notice what was happening around me. People were hiding...

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Handling a Criticizer

Q: I am a team leader, and I have an individual on my team that I wish would keep his mouth shut. He is constantly making snide remarks about his teammates or openly criticizing their performance. When...

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Why Are Some People Always Angry?

Q:  I have a manager who is always angry. She gets angry when I do as she has asked. She gets angry when I don’t do as she has asked. It seems like she is always angry at everyone all the time....

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How Can I Discover the Source of My Anger?

Q: I am the person that you wrote about last month! My children and my spouse have told me that I am always angry. When I have asked for examples, they have told me that I am “too direct, too blunt,...

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Sarcasm Signals Disagreement

Q: I have a dear friend who seems to relish taking verbal “jabs” at me. Over the last couple of years, the number of his sarcastic comments has really increased. Probably because I have become more...

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Why Does Giving Advice Sometimes Backfire?

Q: My spouse tells me that I am too quick to give her and our children advice. She says it feels like I am always telling her what to do. That’s certainly not my intention, but whenever I offer my...

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The Lost Opportunity

I have been haunted this year by an event that occurred in January.   I am a member of a men’s service organization that meets weekly to learn from each other and plan service activities in our...

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Giving Feedback to the Clueless

Q: I am an internal consultant. A Senior Executive in our organization asked me to provide feedback to one of his leaders who scored poorly on the company’s 360° leadership evaluation. The Senior Exec...

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How Do You Manage a Blamer?

Q: I have a coworker who is quite negative. In fact, he is always blaming me when I don’t meet his expectations. Sometimes I am shocked to learn—after the fact—what his expectations were! What could I...

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Prepare or Beware

Q: I heard you speak at a conference recently, and you mentioned that it is important to prepare to hold a potentially difficult conversation. You didn’t elaborate, though, and I would like to know...

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