Can You Debunk the "93/7" Rule?
Q: I was reading some content on your website and noticed that you mentioned that words make up only about 7% of a conversation. I hope you aren’t devaluing the value of language or words. Are you...
View ArticleAre You Living Your Legacy?
Finally, it’s about that time of the year when we slow down, give a sigh of relief, and become more aware of where we are at the moment. You can look back at the year and see where you have been and...
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Dealing with a Closed Mind
Q: My partner is one of the most narrow-minded individuals that I have ever met. If I try to offer a view that runs counter to his view, I get major push-back. He just seems to reject anything that is...
View ArticleDo Leaders Sabotage Accountability?
Q: I have recently attended a number of webinars and a workshop on accountability. Some of the training touched on the importance of holding clear and concise “accountability conversations” to ensure...
View ArticleAre You Aware and Conscious?
I was absolutely stressed out yesterday. You know--when emotion overcomes you, when people have violated your expectations, when everyone wants a piece of you, when problems are raging out of control...
View ArticleHow Do I Create Engagement When Someone Won't Engage?
Sometimes you must admit to yourself that no matter what you say or do, no matter what feeling you convey, you can’t make another person engage in conversation. You can lay out the welcome mat and...
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Are You Chasing Rabbits?
We are sending ourselves messages. Often we don’t receive them until it is too late. A couple of weeks ago, I had blocked out an entire Friday to write an article for a magazine. Just as I got into...
View ArticleDad Blew It
Last night I had an opportunity to shoot video segments for a book trailer in preparation for the launch of my new book, Overcoming Fake Talk. After the shoot was over and everyone had left, I had the...
View ArticleManaging Conflict with Ease
Managing Conflict with Ease!That’s a contradiction in terms. When I was a boy, my brother and I would get into arguments over some dumb thing or another. Rather than having us talk the issue out, our...
View ArticleCan You Manage Your Emotional Energy?
I had the opportunity to do a radio show this week about my book, Overcoming Fake Talk. The interviewer was very much intrigued by the notion of the energy that we portray as we express our thoughts...
View ArticleDon't Die Dumb!
7 Tips for Improving Your LearningBy John Stoker Why do we make mistakes? We are human--that’s how we learn. Hopefully we learn not to make the same mistake again, but do we? Many times there are...
View ArticleCan You Unify Your Team?
(Photo Credit: Spenser Heaps, Daily Herald)8 Tips for Increasing Team UnityBy John R. Stoker Before the start of the college football season, the head coach of the local university’s football team...
View ArticleR . E . S . P . E . C . T
How Respect and the Quality of the Relationship Impact ResultsBy John R. Stoker People often talk about improving their results through conversations, but what they don’t talk about is the connection...
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Without Vision A People Perish
by John R. Stoker When I was a boy growing up in Redlands, California, my father would often take me with him to view cultural events on summer evenings at the Redlands Bowl. This outdoor venue was a...
View ArticleIs Your Gratitude Inadvertent or Deliberate?
A contemporary philosopher once said that one of our greatest weaknesses as a people would be ingratitude. In the week in which we celebrate Thanksgiving, it is appropriate to contemplate all that we...
View ArticleJust an Orange for Christmas
This time of year much of the emphasis seems to be on the importance of giving—of being more charitable to those less fortunate than us. Or, in a commercial sense, all the shopping is about answering...
View ArticleTips for Handling Challenging Conversations during the Holidays
By John R. Stoker Everyone is challenged at some time or another during the holiday season with spending time with family members or friends who seemingly lack any sense of decorum or civility....
View ArticleWhat is Your "Come From?" 5 Tips for Increasing Positivity
With the beginning of a new year, I wanted to talk about the importance of positive thinking. There is so much negativity these days, from the shrill of the media, to unhappy coworkers, to angry...
View Article8 Strategies for Creating Rapport
Years ago, I was doing research on how we can more easily establish rapport with others. While I was working on developing my ideas, I took an airplane flight one day and had an interaction with the...
View ArticleDo You Bail Your People Out? Rescue Management Diminishes Employee...
I recently had a VP tell me that she had assigned one of her directors the task of doing a comparability study of their company’s compensation and benefits vis-à-vis other companies in their industry....
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