What Are the Rules of Conversational Engagement? 10 Rules for Improving the...
Not long ago, I was watching the movie, Hunter Killer, starring Gerard Butler. It is the story of a submarine commander who is tasked with rescuing the Russian president who has been taken captive by a...
View ArticleHave You Learned Your Lessons? 11 Communication Tips for Improving Your...
I once worked with a company during a change initiative when a company’s business was not going particularly well. The CEO called a meeting of his upper management to discuss how things weren’t going...
View ArticleLeaders, How Do You Begin Your Conversations? Nine Phrases NOT to Use
I really believe that what begins well ends well. It is important to begin a conversation in such a way that allows the other person to hear and think about your message. Recently, I sat and observed...
View ArticleDo You Follow the Facts? Three Tips for Strengthening Your Conversations
Recently I was discussing with a friend the importance of facts or evidence in conversation. My friend told me the following story about a wayward son. It seems that his son was staying out all hours...
View ArticleHow Well Do You Do Empathy? The Secret to Understanding and Connecting with...
This summer my son, Matthew, and some of his mountain-biking friends decided to ride their bikes down a fairly steep hill. Matt, on a dare, decided to go first. As he sped down the hill, he hit a...
View ArticleEmotional Intelligence Begins with Self-awareness
A huge factor in improving your emotional intelligence is your personal awareness and understanding of how your behavior impacts others. Sometimes our reactions to others seem involuntary and beyond...
View ArticleDo Leaders Sabotage Accountability?
Q: I have recently attended a number of webinars and a workshop on accountability. Some of the training touched on the importance of holding clear and concise “accountability conversations” to ensure...
View ArticleCan You Debunk the "93/7" Rule?
Q: I was reading some content on your website and noticed that you mentioned that words make up only about 7% of a conversation. I hope you aren’t devaluing the value of language or words. Are you...
View ArticleDoes Your Nonverbal Behavior Box You In? 12 Tips for Improving Your Body...
I had just finished speaking at an event and a number of people came up to the stage to talk and to ask questions that they didn’t want to ask in front of the entire group. After a few moments I was...
View ArticleAre You Engaging in “Fake Focus?"
During the last several months, we have heard a lot about “fake” news or “fake” media. The frequent use of these terms made me think of the term “fake focus” and how it can cause problems in our...
View Article10 Ways to Communicate with Millennials
On a recent flight, my seatmate and I began to talk about communication and conversation strategies for dealing with difficult people. Then out of the blue, my neighbor announced: “Boy, these...
View Article12 Tips for Improving Emotional Control
Recently my college-age son hit a large piece of asphalt while driving our 1997 Toyota Avalon down a country road at night. The impact against the undercarriage caused the airbags to deploy and...
View ArticleWhat Roles Do the Most Successful Leaders Play? Six Roles Every Leader Should...
I recently had the opportunity to meet with a group of consultant friends. Our conversation turned into a debate about which essential roles leaders play. During our discussion, what became obvious was...
View ArticleCan Managing Your Expectations Improve Your Emotional Intelligence? 12...
Did you know that one of the biggest reasons people are unhappy in any given situation is their unmet expectations? How do our expectations contribute to our emotional responses? Our expectations are...
View Article11 Pitfalls to Avoid in Difficult Conversations
Recently, I was asked to observe a Home Owners Association board meeting and to provide feedback about what the board members could do to have more effective meetings. From the outset, it was obvious...
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Managing Your Boss's Negativity
Q: My manager is so negative and defensive that I am afraid if I shared, “I did what you asked me to do,” I would create more defensiveness that would result in increased conflict. What can I do to...
View ArticleEight Questions to Assess the Quality of Your Leadership
A few years ago our family had the opportunity to run the Salmon River in Idaho for a family vacation. My oldest son has been running the river as a guide this summer; consequently, we were invited...
View Article10 Behavioral Cues to Help You Separate Fact from Fiction
Years ago when I worked as an attorney, I remember someone telling me that it was easy to spot when someone was lying. All you had to do was notice whether they would look at you or not. I remember...
View Article10 Tips When Onboarding to a New Leadership Position
I was recently visiting with a potential client, and at the close of our conversation, I asked her if there was something I could do to help her. She indicated that there were so many new leaders...
View ArticleWhen You Are Attacked, Why Do You Attack Back?Six Questions for Uncovering...
I was recently teaching a class on emotional intelligence when a participant proclaimed, “If you could just help me understand why I attack others when they attack me, this class would be worthwhile.”...
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